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 Joseph's Car

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Evilstretch
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PostSubject: Joseph's Car   Sat Mar 09, 2013 12:42 am



Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?".But the initials really have been changed to stand for "What would Jesus drive?"

One theory is that God would cruise around in an old Plymouth because the Bible says, "God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury."

But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo.
The passage urges the Jesus to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm."

Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast."

Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord."

Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills."

Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land."

And, following Jesus' lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda, "The Apostles were in one Accord."


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PostSubject: Re: Joseph's Car   Sat Mar 09, 2013 10:24 am

Never saw a paint job Like that. I like it Smile

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PostSubject: Re: Joseph's Car   Sat Mar 09, 2013 10:30 am

What a car...and what a list of quotes in scripture to tell us what all the prophets drove. lol! I've heard that God drove Adam and Eve out of the garden in a Fury before, but none of the other "quotes" there Stretch. I really like this kind of humor. I'll have to print that list off. Thanks!

NYB

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PostSubject: Re: Joseph's Car   Sat Mar 09, 2013 10:56 am

Bob I heard this one years ago at church and it's always been my favourite Christian joke.



One day, after a near eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out to God.

"Lord, I have a problem.""What's the problem, Adam?", God replies.

"Lord, I know You created me and have provided for me and surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, but I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Adam?", comes the reply from the heavens.

"Lord, I know You created this place for me, with all this lovely food and all of the beautiful animals, but I am lonely."

"Well Adam, in that case I have the perfect solution. I shall create a woman for you."

"What's a 'woman', Lord?"

"This woman will be the most intelligent, sensitive, caring, and beautiful creature I have ever created. She will be so intelligent that she can figure out what you want before you want it. She will be so sensitive and caring that she will know your every mood and how to make you happy. Her beauty will rival that of the heavens and earth. She will unquestioningly care for your every need and desire. She will be the perfect companion for you," replies the heavenly voice.

"Sounds great."

"She will be, but this is going to cost you, Adam."

"How much will this 'woman' cost me Lord?", Adam replies.

"She'll cost you an arm and a leg."

Adam ponders this for some time, with a look of deep thought and concern on his face.

Finally Adam says to God, "Ehhh, what can I get for a rib?"

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PostSubject: Re: Joseph's Car   Sat Mar 09, 2013 11:11 am

lol! So that's what happened huh? That explains it all... Hee! Hee!

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PostSubject: Re: Joseph's Car   Sat Mar 09, 2013 11:13 am

Why was Adam created first?
To give him a chance to say something.



A women's lib speaker was addressing a large group and said, "Where would man be today if it were not for woman?"
She paused a moment and looked around the room. "I repeat, where would man be today if it were not for woman?"
From the back of the room came a voice, "He'd be in the Garden of Eden, eating strawberries."



In the beginning, God created earth and rested.
Then God created man and rested.
Then God created woman.
Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
AMEN



One day (after being thrust out of the garden), Adam and Abel are walking past the Garden of Eden.
Abel: "So, Dad, you and Mom used to live in there, huh?"
Adam: "Yes, son, it was lovely."
Abel: "Why did you leave?"
Adam: "Your mother ate us out of house and home."



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PostSubject: Re: Joseph's Car   Sat Mar 09, 2013 11:25 am

That's great, Stretch!!

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PostSubject: Re: Joseph's Car   Sat Mar 09, 2013 11:46 am

Immediately after reading the first one I burst out laughing...so hard and loud that it scared the heck out of my poor wife. She's lost for words now. lol!

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PostSubject: Re: Joseph's Car   Sat Mar 09, 2013 12:13 pm

:Steve Evilstre Save yourself brother blame me that evil Aussie Twisted Evil


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PostSubject: Re: Joseph's Car   Sat Mar 09, 2013 1:51 pm

very funny stretch and "CLEAN" i am surprised by you Hee! Hee!

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PostSubject: Re: Joseph's Car   Sat Mar 09, 2013 2:54 pm

Even I know I gotta behaviour in the CCC Chapel lol!

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