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The Christine Car Club » Non Automotive Off Topic Section » CCC Fellowship In Christ » Joseph's Car

Joseph's Car

Go down  Message [Page 1 of 1]

1Joseph's Car Empty Joseph's Car on Sat Mar 09, 2013 12:42 am

Evilstretch

Evilstretch
CCC Member
CCC Member
Joseph's Car Josephscar_zps92e70334

Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?".But the initials really have been changed to stand for "What would Jesus drive?"

One theory is that God would cruise around in an old Plymouth because the Bible says, "God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury."

But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo.
The passage urges the Jesus to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm."

Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast."

Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord."

Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills."

Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land."

And, following Jesus' lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda, "The Apostles were in one Accord."


_________________
Joseph's Car SkullNCrossBones

[b]If it's an ambulance
You've got a chance
But if it's a hearse
It's got to be worse.

2Joseph's Car Empty Re: Joseph's Car on Sat Mar 09, 2013 10:24 am

58plym

58plym
CCC Member
CCC Member
Never saw a paint job Like that. I like it Smile


_________________
Joseph's Car _012
"THE OLDER I GET THE FASTER

3Joseph's Car Empty Re: Joseph's Car on Sat Mar 09, 2013 10:30 am

furvedere

furvedere
CCC Chaplain
CCC Chaplain
What a car...and what a list of quotes in scripture to tell us what all the prophets drove. lol! I've heard that God drove Adam and Eve out of the garden in a Fury before, but none of the other "quotes" there Stretch. I really like this kind of humor. I'll have to print that list off. Thanks!

NYB


_________________
1958 DeSoto Firesweep 2 dr ht
1958 Plymouth Belvedere 2 dr ht
1968 Plymouth Fury III

And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has life, he who does not have the Son of God does not have life.
1 John 5:11-12 cheers

4Joseph's Car Empty Re: Joseph's Car on Sat Mar 09, 2013 10:56 am

Evilstretch

Evilstretch
CCC Member
CCC Member
Bob I heard this one years ago at church and it's always been my favourite Christian joke.



One day, after a near eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out to God.

"Lord, I have a problem.""What's the problem, Adam?", God replies.

"Lord, I know You created me and have provided for me and surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, but I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Adam?", comes the reply from the heavens.

"Lord, I know You created this place for me, with all this lovely food and all of the beautiful animals, but I am lonely."

"Well Adam, in that case I have the perfect solution. I shall create a woman for you."

"What's a 'woman', Lord?"

"This woman will be the most intelligent, sensitive, caring, and beautiful creature I have ever created. She will be so intelligent that she can figure out what you want before you want it. She will be so sensitive and caring that she will know your every mood and how to make you happy. Her beauty will rival that of the heavens and earth. She will unquestioningly care for your every need and desire. She will be the perfect companion for you," replies the heavenly voice.

"Sounds great."

"She will be, but this is going to cost you, Adam."

"How much will this 'woman' cost me Lord?", Adam replies.

"She'll cost you an arm and a leg."

Adam ponders this for some time, with a look of deep thought and concern on his face.

Finally Adam says to God, "Ehhh, what can I get for a rib?"


_________________
Joseph's Car SkullNCrossBones

[b]If it's an ambulance
You've got a chance
But if it's a hearse
It's got to be worse.

5Joseph's Car Empty Re: Joseph's Car on Sat Mar 09, 2013 11:11 am

furvedere

furvedere
CCC Chaplain
CCC Chaplain
lol! So that's what happened huh? That explains it all... Hee! Hee!


_________________
1958 DeSoto Firesweep 2 dr ht
1958 Plymouth Belvedere 2 dr ht
1968 Plymouth Fury III

And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has life, he who does not have the Son of God does not have life.
1 John 5:11-12 cheers

6Joseph's Car Empty Re: Joseph's Car on Sat Mar 09, 2013 11:13 am

Evilstretch

Evilstretch
CCC Member
CCC Member
Why was Adam created first?
To give him a chance to say something.



A women's lib speaker was addressing a large group and said, "Where would man be today if it were not for woman?"
She paused a moment and looked around the room. "I repeat, where would man be today if it were not for woman?"
From the back of the room came a voice, "He'd be in the Garden of Eden, eating strawberries."



In the beginning, God created earth and rested.
Then God created man and rested.
Then God created woman.
Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
AMEN



One day (after being thrust out of the garden), Adam and Abel are walking past the Garden of Eden.
Abel: "So, Dad, you and Mom used to live in there, huh?"
Adam: "Yes, son, it was lovely."
Abel: "Why did you leave?"
Adam: "Your mother ate us out of house and home."



_________________
Joseph's Car SkullNCrossBones

[b]If it's an ambulance
You've got a chance
But if it's a hearse
It's got to be worse.

7Joseph's Car Empty Re: Joseph's Car on Sat Mar 09, 2013 11:25 am

Big M

Big M
Administrator
Administrator
That's great, Stretch!!


_________________
In Rust, We Trust.

8Joseph's Car Empty Re: Joseph's Car on Sat Mar 09, 2013 11:46 am

furvedere

furvedere
CCC Chaplain
CCC Chaplain
Immediately after reading the first one I burst out laughing...so hard and loud that it scared the heck out of my poor wife. She's lost for words now. lol!


_________________
1958 DeSoto Firesweep 2 dr ht
1958 Plymouth Belvedere 2 dr ht
1968 Plymouth Fury III

And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has life, he who does not have the Son of God does not have life.
1 John 5:11-12 cheers

9Joseph's Car Empty Re: Joseph's Car on Sat Mar 09, 2013 12:13 pm

Evilstretch

Evilstretch
CCC Member
CCC Member
:Steve Evilstre Save yourself brother blame me that evil Aussie Twisted Evil

Joseph's Car 3stoogers_zps0606787e


_________________
Joseph's Car SkullNCrossBones

[b]If it's an ambulance
You've got a chance
But if it's a hearse
It's got to be worse.

10Joseph's Car Empty Re: Joseph's Car on Sat Mar 09, 2013 1:51 pm

JAG

JAG
Administrator
Administrator
very funny stretch and "CLEAN" i am surprised by you Hee! Hee!


_________________
Joseph's Car 2mh8wwi Joseph's Car Dmtkpf

11Joseph's Car Empty Re: Joseph's Car on Sat Mar 09, 2013 2:54 pm

Evilstretch

Evilstretch
CCC Member
CCC Member
Even I know I gotta behaviour in the CCC Chapel lol!


_________________
Joseph's Car SkullNCrossBones

[b]If it's an ambulance
You've got a chance
But if it's a hearse
It's got to be worse.

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